Ladies and Gentlemen, for all those who were worried about what happened to me over the past two days, I’ll have you know that I am well and safe hiding in the East of London. However there is something of more gravity I wish to tell you.
I have made a decision (not lightly, mind you) to reveal my true identity to you, which you in jest told me. You will probably not believe me, and it will seem that I am mad but I assure that is true; for you all know me better as the famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes. I have been transported to this realm by some means unknown to me which I am thoroughly devoting my efforts to solving. I have since discovered that I am transported not only through conventional time and space but to another dimension of reality where my existence is regarded as a fiction – that is, an element of the popular culture which, though people may access it, their ignorance leads them to maintain a shallow and most flawed impression of me. And for all of you readers who have heard of me but are not well familiar, those who have decided not to observe me well and draw their own conclusions of me out of sloth – oh, you future Lestrades, you! – I would like to inform you of the following.
- I do not frequently say “Elementary, my dear Watson”; to my knowledge I have never said it once. I do speak of the elementary details to my comrade, but only to imbue him with a particular philosophy of observation, and never merely to gloat!
- While I am not known to display it frequently in the crowds I am a tasteful, sensible dresser. I wear a well-tailored suit around town and in my abode I enjoy donning a nice smoking jacket with a pipe of tobacco smoke. I would never wear a deerstalker hat and tweed cape anywhere but the far-reaching countryside; to wear such an outfit otherwise around my well-to-do acquaintances – some of whom are friends of the royal courts of Europe – I would positively look like an ass!
I could go on about how my story has been reduced to a shallow caricature – I imagine to be compatible with your odd social mores – but I have made the mistake in the past making a qualm about your absurdities. For my outburst I have been accused for a crime against some bottom dwelling panderer. I move on to this business.
You have all spoken of this Reynald St. Jerome to me… or Hercule Poirot which many of you wish to call him. By good chance, I happened to have received information of where he is hiding on the east end of London. I shall go to his apartment and figure out who this person really is and what he wants from me. Tonight I shall settle the score!
Yours Truly,
Sherlock Holmes
Welcome to the re- ahem, our world, Sir Holmes. I trust you are adapting?
I’m not sure if you are aware of it already, but there is actually a very popular British drama titled “Sherlock” on television right now, although in the United Kingdom it’scalled the “telly” for short.
If you happen to run into a man named Arthur Moore, be careful, I believe he is very dangerous. You might recognise him. Please warn Hercule of this man aswell!
I always knew who you were, though to be honest, I wouldn’t have if I had read any of the silly modern interpretations. I’m a solid fan of your original adventures, as penned by Doyle, which is how I recognized you after reading only a few posts.
Anyhow, while some of my compatriots may be worried about what will happen when you run into Poirot, I’m not at all bothered. You could say it’s… intuition I suppose. I wish you the best of luck, Holmes. It was a pleasure to speak with you, though I hope to do so at least once more, when you come to us with the truth of this matter.
I probably don’t need to tell you this, but be careful whatever you do. Something is going on behind the scenes, and no matter who is responsible for it, they have planned VERY well. Be ready for anything when you head out.
Also… the east of London is going to probably have plenty of police out there very soon, since they likely located both your and Poirot’s blogs as part of the investigation, and they may be able to trace you through your IP address. You should probably move locations if the police are still after you once this is over.
Poirot is a good man, just like Holmes. If you two want to seek the truth, you’ll need to work together.
Dear Mr Holmes:
Although I am happy you are in our world, as you are one of the best detectives ever, I suggest, like Sicon, to keep on moving locations, as police will try to track you.
Disguise yourself constantly- you are a master of disguise, and try to base your disguises on modern people- a construction worker if there is a building site nearby, or an office worker in a coffee shop, poring over some paperwork.
Work together with Poirot, as you two are brilliant detectives, and look at the letters.
Be careful. Always disguise if you spot a policeman nearby.
The Wild West Pyro
Dear Mr Holmes:
Disguise yourself constantly- you are a master of disguise, and try to base your disguises on modern people- a construction worker if there is a building site nearby, or an office worker in a coffee shop, poring over some paperwork.
Work together with Poirot, as you two are brilliant detectives, and look at the letters.
Be careful. Always disguise if you spot a policeman nearby.
The Wild West Pyro
Wake up! You’ve figured out the greatest discovery of a lifetime and yet you fail to see the bigger picture. What if you’re not the only one to arrive in this ‘dimension’? Take off your blinders for one minute and set aside your ego. Since you are unfamiliar with some of the more recent works of fiction you should assume anyone you meet could be in your situation. Even Poirot. Do a little research instead of updating you blog! You worry about other peoples perception of you and blather one about your smoking jack. Bloody baboon, it’s a miracle you solve anything!
Greetings, Holmes.
Just a warning, Poirot does not seem to be happy with your recent raid of his fake apartment. While I am not as familiar with him as I am with you, he seems to be an excitable fellow, and I believe he has been firmly convinced that you are his enemy. That is probably not the best of situations, merely because, if there is a force behind all of this, a fight with him leaves you open to it.
As he shares your nature as a ‘fictional’ character in this world, there is something you may do to learn about him. I am not suggesting that you read his books; there are far too many for that. However, you can find an overview of his personality and history by opening this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hercule_poirot
My compatriots have been able to confirm his identity in the same way we confirmed your own, though he was a little more careless about details that you. Recently, as you have, he has also publicly admitted his identity on his blog. It is then safe to assume that, if you remain true to Doyle’s original works (or those works to you, depending) then the case is the same with him and the books written by Agatha Christie. For him to have framed you for a murder, or to be behind this would be a stunning departure from character, no? That is the reason why I find this entire situation suspicious.
Be very careful about how you act. Someone is after you. Someone very dangerous, far more so that Poirot.
Ha, so it turns out you’ve been duped! Hercule Poirot will not be so easy to find after all. What was the message he left at his ‘fake’ apartment? It must infuriate you that the answers do not come as easily as they once did. Maybe you aren’t as great a detective as we’ve all been lead to believe. What will you do now? Continue to chase your tail? I’ll give you a hint (because your little game with Poirot has become so much fun!) he plans to leave for France.
Please do not stir this situation up any further, sir. Your needless taunting serves no purpose. I must ask that you desist at once.
It’s not hurting anything and Sherlock’s ego needs to be kept in check. :) Your approach isn’t the only viable option.
You know, I didn’t see this coming.