Don Juan est capturé!


Permettez-moi de me presenter encore. I am Hercule Poirot, detective of literary fame; many of you I have already spoken to before, but to the rest of you, c’est un plaisir!

Now, with the polite expressions out of the way, let us move forward with the important news: Don Juan is captured! And I was the one to act upon it!

I will admit, I have been frustrated with Holmes in this long wait for our move (and, indeed, I still am – but more on that later); he has been keen to hesitate, contemplate the best course of action, whether it be to capture Don Juan and send him to jail, or to approach him with an interest of compromise for information. To me, I must say, there was NO choice; perhaps if Sherlock Holmes were strung up by the boots and hung in a utility closet in the museum, he would be less open to mercy and more keen to proper justice!

But I digress; we spent the time trying to, as you say, rehabilitate Jack Vincent, and through our humble efforts he has recovered somewhat from his former infatuation in duress with Don Juan. He gave us the right information to, as you say, meet Don Juan and his new wife, Melissa Glaser. Holmes wished as compromise that he be allowed to meet Melissa Glaser and understand Don Juan from her perspective, and if his character had any sign that it could not be reconciled, we would send him off to jail. Out of a great deal of tolerance, I accepted the deal, and I waited idly by as I saw Holmes go into the Juan-Glaser residence to meet Don Juan.

But who should show up while they are meeting with each other? Don Juan himself! Luckily I obscured my face so that he would not see me, then, knowing he would likely try to run upon seeing Holmes, I set up a quick… I believe the phrase is trip wire with some string on the posts of the stairs to the front porch of the house. And, as you say, like clockwork, Don Juan came running out, and I snuck behind the porch. He tripped all the way onto his face and with the chance I tackled him with my full gerth! (and a substantial gerth, I might add; I am man of appetites!)

Holmes caught up with me, and we apprehended and secured the criminal. Yet Don Juan tempts us with promises of kindness and cooperation. Finally, when he said that he could give us the location of all the Cabal ‘echoes’ if we released him, this made Holmes interested enough to tell me that we should wait and think over our options. Pourquoi? Why do you insist on making this longer than this needs to be? Let us say that he even knows where these ‘echoes’ are, or have been. This man is a criminal, he broke the law, and he must pay for his crime. Even Holmes’ ‘fans’ acknowledge it!

We will continue to update you when we have made our decision; in the meantime I could use your input once again.


12 thoughts on “Don Juan est capturé!

  1. Nice to see you here, Monsieur Poirot. I share your standpoint, but more because I will go throught with my plan to refictionalize Don Juan, no matter what his actions will be. I’m still assuming that leaving him here would be disastrous. In fact, I’m working on my refictionalization story today.

  2. M. Poirot,

    I can only give you my own opinion on the matter; I do not pretend to speak for my companions, though I certainly hope they agree with my assessment.

    Don Juan and his fellows in the Cabal, like you, are not from this world– and yet, they want to stay. Where I live, they are what would be called illegal immigrants. Furthermore, they have committed crimes in this world. As well you know, the proper reaction to non-citizen criminals in most parts of the world is to extradite them to their countries of origin.

    I see no reason why this situation is not parallel. Therefore, I urge you to accept his proposal of giving you the locations of the “echoes” in exchange for not imprisoning him; after all, it is only with these echoes that we can proceed to “extradite” them to their worlds of origin.

    It may seem counterintuitive to let him go in the short run, but I assure you, justice will be done.

    Votre amie loyale,

    • Oh wait. Don Juan said “release him”. So… get the echoes out of him, release him as promised… and refic him.
      That’s so dirty… and so efficient. ^__^

      • Are we so arrogant as to delude ourselves that we may get the echoes from him under false pretenses and then send him refictionalize him for the sake of principle? Is this justice?!

        Do forgive my concern, but at the time refictionalization was not available and we were contemplating throwing him in jail. And in experience I have found that not all criminals are so by their natural malice; some are so by their folly, which can be remedied. In one case, so termed by my partner as the Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle, a spared an ass of a man named James Ryder knowing that jail would have only made him a hardened criminal by experience. Is not some Christian mercy apt to be given every once in a while, Mr. Poirot? Especially in this merry season?

        • Monsieur Holmes, as a Catholic I leave the delivery of mercy a Dieu. You underestimate this dangerous man! His act to steal the painting was not folly! It was a cold act of planning, cunning, and most importantly, disregard of the law! And he was willing to follow through on it with violence! And now that we have the ability to refictionalize him, we can send him back to where he truly belongs: to his story, where he will face the inferno – que Dieu a destiné!

          • Was it so cold of him? You know as well as I that he did not do it simply because he wished for the painting. He misconceived of what his echo was at the time, and he thought it might be that painting. So naturally he decided to steal that he may stay with the woman he loved. You may not have been able to hear the conversation that I had with her, but Don Juan has changed from the Don Juan of idiom. He is an apparently devoted, compassionate, caring human being, all because he has been touched with love beyond the carnal. Surely you, having grown up with all that ghastly French poetry, must sympathize with a fool in love. And perhaps if for love we give him a reason to help us, that would only compliment an act of mercy.

            I mean this not out of sentiment but out of practicum; I would not pass up the opportunity the find the locations of the more pernicious, more naturally evil villainy that lies ahead.

          • May I remind you, Mr. Holmes, that we’re not sending him back because we want it so much. Our justice system can take care of his misdeeds. Our universe, on the other hand, may not handle him.

            I’m still trying to clarify if Mr. Administrator can somehow refictionalize the Cabal remotely. If so, it is more wise to let Don Juan go – he wouldn’t get far anyway. Unfortunately, I have no data on that.

          • If it is so pertinent that characters be refictionalized for the sake of the risk to this universe, then do we not add risk by disdaining our best opportunity of knowing where and how we may refictionalize the most fiendish of the fictional characters? The universe has lasted well enough with all of us here so far; perhaps one redeemable fool is enough.

            Also, I would make mercy on Don Juan conditional on his cooperation in the matter of locating Moriarty and the rest of this Cabal. Surely then, letting Don Juan go would be wise.

          • It is not wise to let Don Juan go. There are other clues, there are other opportunities we will find as long as they continue to be devious. You truly are obsessed with Moriarty, that you would compromise any ideal to get to him! We must do what is right, rather than justify what is wrong!

  3. It is my opinion, and it may not count for much, that it is not worth letting this man go. We need to refictionalize him. He’s a dangerous man, and he will continue to be a danger. I value love and forgiveness as much as you do Holmes, which is why I think we should send him back home on the other side of the wall. That is where he belongs. That is where he can be happy.

    Yes, finding the other echoes is great, but not at the expense of letting one of the Cabal get away. I have faith that we can find the other echoes on our own. But we need to send Juan back him while we have the chance. Let’s not jeopardize this opportunity.

    A thought just struck me while I was writing out this reply. I have a feeling, Mr. Holmes’, that you might have an ulterior motive to wanting to make this deal with Don Juan. Perhaps you truly believe this man to be repentant and deserving of a second chance, but maybe there’s more to it. A very special reason why you would want the other echoes in particular. In your mind, the prize isn’t to refictionalize the Cabal, is it? But instead, just one particular member. I’m I wrong, Mr. Holmes? Is this willingness to make a deal with a criminal just a symptom of your obsession with another criminal? Would you really let this man go free just so you can go after Moriarty?

    Eh, maybe I’m totally off base. I’m sure you have perfectly honorable motivations, Mr. Holmes. But I do believe you and Poirot need to keep Mr. Don Juan right where he is.

  4. If it’s any comfort, Mr. Holmes, Mr. A, our employer, agrees with you. He feels that obtaining the echoes of all four of the cabal is more important than refictionalizing just one now and risk not being able to refictionalize the rest. He figures that even if you let him go, it wouldn’t be too difficult to find him again as he would most likely stay close to his wife. I don’t necessarily agree with him, but he is supposedly an expert at this sort of stuff, so he should at least have a vote.

  5. Dear Monsieur Poirot:

    Yes, Poirot, Don Juan is an illegal immigrant and desperately wants to stay.

    Although they should be sent back, they have vowed to stay here. Don just wanted to turn over a new leaf and get a normal life.

    I think you should negotiate with him, or at least try to. It will hopefully work in the long run.

    The Wild West Pyro

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